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Glenn Clark's Preseason NFL Power Rankings

August 9, 2017
There's a lot to be determined before the actual start of the 2017 NFL season. Until then, here's a look at my NFL power rankings at the "soft" start of the season. Following the ranking, I'll share with you what I believe to be the most significant question facing that team in the preseason. Let's ride. 

1. New England Patriots (14-2 record last season)
Most significant question: Could they beat the Golden State Warriors?

2. Green Bay Packers (10-6)
Do those tapes of former FBI director James Comey actually belong to quarterback Aaron Rodgers? 

3. Pittsburgh Steelers (11-5)
Will wide receiver Martavis Bryant be cleared to return to the team? If not, which receiver you've never heard of will end up having 800 yards and seven touchdowns this season? I'll go with Canaan Severin. No really. That's a thing. 

4. Atlanta Falcons (11-5)
Will they remember that in late-game situations you're also allowed to RUN the ball?

5. Dallas Cowboys (13-3)
At what point will CBS analyst/former quarterback Tony Romo not be as retired as we're led to believe he is? 

6. Oakland Raiders (12-4)
Is running back Marshawn Lynch still about that action, boss? 

7. Seattle Seahawks (10-5-1)
What is cornerback Richard Sherman angry about right now?

8. New York Giants (11-5)
How many fanny packs do you think head coach Ben McAdoo owns?

9. Carolina Panthers (6-10)
Have the Charlotte-area Golden Corrals been informed that they're not supposed to serve wide receiver Kelvin Benjamin anymore?

10. Kansas City Chiefs (12-4)
Can a team find a way to not have to play more than one wide receiver (Tyreek Hill) at any point during the course of 16 games?

11. Tennessee Titans (9-7)
Could they, like, actually be pretty good?

12. Arizona Cardinals (7-8-1)
Should we stop asking about whether wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald might retire since, obviously, at this point he could probably be productive until he's 98?

13. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-7)
What will the impact be of being on HBO's "Hard Knocks" this season? Actually, it's nothing, so that was kind of dumb.

14. Washington Redskins (8-7-1)
The situation with quarterback Kirk Cousins' contract isn't very good. So how will they inevitably make it worse?

15. Baltimore Ravens (8-8)
Will any player who is actually on their roster end up being deserving of as much attention as free-agent quarterback Colin Kaepernick has already received?

16. Houston Texans (9-7)
Why is anyone pretending rookie Deshaun Watson won't be under center come Week 1?

17. Denver Broncos (9-7)
Could they please just make Paxton Lynch the quarterback so we can stop trying to remember how to spell "Siemian?"

18. Miami Dolphins (10-6)
Does quarterback Jay Cutler know where he is right now? 

19. Philadelphia Eagles (7-9)
Oh wow, they have some wide receivers now. But do they have anything else?

20. Minnesota Vikings (8-8)
Are we still pretending quarterback Sam Bradford can be a thing? 

21. Cincinnati Bengals (6-9-1)
Is linebacker Vontaze Burfict's willingness to take cheap shots at his own team too actually proof that he has integrity based on equality? 

22. New Orleans Saints (7-9)
How many years can a team focus on improving on defense during the offseason without actually ever improving on defense? 

23. Indianapolis Colts (8-8)
When will quarterback Andrew Luck be healthy and why will their defense be so bad that it honestly doesn't matter?

24. Detroit Lions (9-7)
Do you realize that 9-7 isn't actually a typo? They won nine games last year, you guys. I can't remember one.

25. Buffalo Bills (7-9)
Could you name their head coach if I gave you 17 guesses AND reminded you it wasn't Rex Ryan anymore?

26. Los Angeles Chargers (5-11)
Can Los Angeles support two NFL teams again? That's not relevant now because they only have the Chargers and the Rams. But if they ever get actual NFL teams again in the future. 

27. Los Angeles Rams (4-12)
How long before they just start pretending quarterback Jared Goff never actually happened?

28. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-13)
You know how everyone likes to say "it can't get worse?" Well, when it comes to quarterback Blake Bortles, umm, could it though? 

29. Chicago Bears (3-13)
Will wide receiver Kevin White hold off Ravens wide receiver Breshad Perriman in the race for "more embarrassing 2015 first-round pick?"

30. San Francisco 49ers (2-14)
How has an actual NFL franchise avoided ridicule despite going into the season with their quarterbacks being Brian Hoyer, Matt Barkley, CJ Beathard and something called a Nick Mullens?

31. Cleveland Browns (1-15)
When will they inevitably still somehow end up being worse than the Jets?

32. New York Jets (5-11)
Besides the quarterbacks, could you name three healthy players on their roster if your life was on the line?