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The 15: Sports Cocktails

November 15, 2010

Arnold Palmer drank so much lemonade and iced tea, the drink now bears his name. But if you want a little kick, you can go into most bars and order a John Daly -- vodka added to Arnie's recipe.

In that vein, as holiday season brings an influx of big games and loud relatives, PressBox offers these athlete-inspired cocktails. Please read responsibly.

1. The Brett Favre
The drink is easy -- a can of beer wiped clean on a pair of Wranglers. The tricky part is deciding when to stop ordering "just one more."

2. The Barry Bonds
A tall mug of Conte Brewhouse Lager, a beer so frothy, the head inexplicably grows as you drink it.

3. The Cal Ripken
Milk, the Ripken Way -- 2,632 straight glasses of it.

4. The Brian Billick
A sophisticated blend of Madagascar vanilla, Moroccan citrus peel, Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin champagne and hemlock. Too many will make you talk down to everyone in the bar.

5. The Ron Artest
Lay on your back across the bar, but instead of somebody licking jello shots out of your belly button, somebody throws beer from 30 feet up.



6. The Inez Backside
Drinking four watermelon liqueur shots in succession makes you see naked men in your dreams.

7. The Pete Rose
Three double shots of 110-proof rum and then gamble heavily on whether or not you can stand up.

8. The Belichick
Chug-a-lug eight ounces of Angustura bitters and your face freezes.

9. The Sammy Sosa
Before your court date, drink four double shots of sloe gin and forget how to speak English.

10. The O.J. Simpson
Surprisingly there is not juice, and in fact, when finally mixed, the drink doesn't fit in the glass. And you know what they say: If the drink doesn't fit, you must be lit.

11. The Darryl Strawberry
Again, don't be fooled by the name, this drink does not taste like strawberry. It's just a classic margarita. But don't be fooled by the presentation, that's not salt rimming the glass.

12. The Friedgen
Mix one ounce each of gin, vodka, scotch and bourbon with a splash of castor oil and you will definitely call "Ralph."

13. The Kyle Boller
This cocktail of Zima and red bull is hyped to score big when chugged on one knee. But you'll never taste it -- the glass always tips over and spills before making it to the table.

14. The John Kruk
This concoction is not for the faint of heart. You stand next to the bar while three shots of fire water whiz by your head. Then chase with a Philly cheesesteak, a foot-long hot dog, a cowboy rib-eye and a five-gallon bucket of lard.

15. The Tiger Woods
Uh, let's not go there.

One For The Road: The Elvis Grbac
Dump a perfectly good gin-and-tonic (not a sexy drink, but manages a night well) and order this $30 million drink that comes with bloated expectations. The disappointing mix of peppermint schnapps and Diet Mountain Dew make for a real tear-jerker.

Mixologists: Kevin Heitz, Larry Harris and Brad Meerholz

Issue 155: November 2010