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PressBox's 2016 Holiday Gift Guide

December 15, 2016
With the holiday season upon us, you may still need a gift for a Baltimore sports fan in your life. While I'm sure they'd love a "Wonder Wallet" or a "Windshield Wonder" or anything else you can find in the "As Seen On TV" collection, perhaps you could do just a bit better. Here are a few ideas, all of which are $50 and less, because as much as you might like your nephew, he wouldn't even appreciate that bottle of High West Bourye. Just a simple bottle of Jack Daniels will do. 

1.  Silk Maryland flag scarf  -- $35, RouteOneApparel.com
If I owned a silk scarf that was no more than the Maryland flag pattern, I would wear it every day. If it was a 102-degree day and I was headed out to Artscape in July and my wife said, "Why are you wearing a scarf?" I'd say, "Because it's incredible, and you're silly to ask." Also, just about anything else flag-related at Route One Apparel would work, too. 

2.  Ravens tailgate quad chair  -- $34.99, NFLShop.com
Everyone needs more outdoor chairs. Maybe last summer you had enough outdoor chairs. Go look in your garage. They're dirty and they've been ripped apart, which is weird because you really only used them once all summer. It never fails. Get the Ravens fan in your life a gift they'll actually use this summer.

3.  Orioles big logo slide slippers  -- $19.99, Fanatics.com
How many times do you forget you needed to take the trash out and just need to throw on some sort of footwear? It's happened to me 15 times this week alone. (What? We have a lot of trash.) These slippers have a giant Orioles logo on them, so they're better than other slippers, and that's the end of the conversation. 

"And if you're shopping for a female, give this to her husband, because she's just going to end up stealing it anyway," said the writer who is projecting a common problem in his own household into an unfair stereotype that is probably experienced by at least a few others in the reading audience.

5.  Baltimore AFL season ticket deposit  -- $50, Ticketmaster.com
If the person you're shopping for is the type who enjoys going to Ravens games and hanging out with friends to watch football, this could be a fun gift option. Arena Football is a great product, and Baltimore football fans should pick up on it quickly. Or at least enjoy an excuse to drink and watch football on a Saturday night this June. 

6.  Towson Tigers Dual Purpose Spatula/Bottle Opener  -- $23.98, ShopTowsonTigers.com
This is a no-brainer. The Towson fan/alum in your life will not only have a brand new spatula for grilling season (or as I call it -- "all year 'round") but they have an additional bottle opener handy for the seven or eight beers I'm going to drink while I grill. I mean, they are going to drink while they grill. That's definitely what I meant. 

7.  "The Hay Is In The Barn" Tumbler  - $18, GerrySandusky.com
First of all, name the time you thought to yourself, "I really have too many tumblers." Second, as Sandusky recently launched the line in honor of his Ravens broadcast catch phrase, you have a rare chance of getting someone a gift they might not actually have already. 

8.  Orioles Cooperstown Collection iPhone 5 case  -- $34.99, MLBShop.com
It looks really cool and is a practical gift to boot. It's an old-school look, so even your grandfather would like it. You know, if your grandfather didn't think technology was stupid. 

Available in men's or women's, this is cool because it's like getting a customized jersey, only in a T-shirt with a cool design. Choose any name and number for the back of the shirt. If you were wondering, I would probably go with No. 83, because that was the year I was born, and also, I'm an XL, and you can just go ahead and have it shipped to PressBox. Thanks in advance. 

10.  "Elite" [Joe Flacco] T-shirt  -- $25, BarstoolSports.com
It's (basically) a picture of the former Super Bowl MVP with the word "ELITE" below it. What more do you need? Linebacker Terrell Suggs has worn it. Long snapper Morgan Cox reportedly once ordered about 15 of them at the same time. There's really no other T-shirt you need.

11.  UMBC Basketball Under Armour long sleeve T-shirt  -- $39.99, Bookstore.UMBC.edu
Do you have a UMBC fan or alum in your life? The men's basketball team is off to a good start, including a surprising win at Duquesne Nov. 30. If the Retrievers make a run toward the top of the America East and the NCAA tournament, your loved one is going to want to pretend like they've been on the bandwagon the entire time. So help them with this cool shirt.

12.  Navy "Don't Tread On Me" mini-helmet  -- $34.99, ArmedForcesGear.com
Remember the incredible "Don't Tread On Me" helmets Navy wore against Army a couple of years ago? The Midshipmen football fan in your life would absolutely love this miniature version to have in their office. In fact, any warm-blooded American in your life should love it. 

13.  Loyola lacrosse Under Armour T-shirt  -- $32.98, Loyola.bncollege.com
It seems as though head coach Charley Toomey's Greyhounds are competing for championships every year. So before Loyola makes its now annual run toward another Final Four, make sure the Greyhounds fan/alum in your life has the gear they need. 

14.  "It's Tuckin' Good" T-shirt  -- $25.49, Shop.spreadshirt.com/bshu/
In honor of the "updog" himself, a new T-shirt celebrates the greatest kicker in the history of kicking. Although, if Royal Farms were to make a shirt of him dropping that chicken leg like a microphone, I would want that one, too. 

15.  Manny Machado Youth Emoji T-shirt  -- $20, DicksSportingGoods.com
And for the little Orioles fan in your life, get this adorable emoji version of Manny Machado's face on a T-shirt. May it never be available in Yankees colors.  

Issue 228: December 2016