So we now know officially that Baltimore Ravens quarterbacks Joe Flacco and Lamar Jackson have met each other and have
even exchanged some sort of words
! Thus ends the single dumbest fake controversy in the history of football since the last single dumbest controversy in the history of football. I look forward to next week when we get to enjoy the next single dumbest fake controversy in the history of football.
But now that the team's future quarterback has met the quarterback of the last decade, I have to imagine what kind of conversation the two might be exchanging. So here are the top 10 questions I think Jackson should be asking Flacco during their time together the next few months.
10. "Are you elite?"
It's a good ice-breaker for an awkward situation. I mean, Flacco obviously has to be uncomfortable knowing Jackson is there to take his job -- so why not try to put everyone at ease with a silly question to generate a chuckle? And then once the laughs die down, he can follow up with something like, "But seriously, are you? We've been doing this bit for like seven years, and I still don't really seem to know."
9. "Hey man, I know rookies usually pay for everything, but most of them don't share a position room with a guy making $25 million this year, so can we skip all of that?"
I understand rookies are supposed to pay their dues, but this seems a bit extreme. Players tend to hang out with other players at their position, and in this case that hangout would include one rookie -- albeit a first-round pick -- and one of the highest paid players in the history of football. I'd like to think Flacco could give Jackson a pass on this.
But if not, the only good news for the former Heisman Trophy winner is Flacco has a history of
being a cheap date
8. "Remember how you were supposed to play Johnny Unitas in a movie and it sparked a huge controversy? Ummm ... all of my Louisville friends were wondering whatever happened to that?"
This one is actually kind of selfish for me, personally. Speaking of "dumbest fake controversies in the history of football," Flacco's participation in the "Unitas We Stand" project set off a
full-blown Unitas family feud
that made national headlines. And then the whole story just kinda went away ... along with the movie. Seriously, what 2013 phenomenon crashed harder -- this or the guy who did "Harlem Shake?" So maybe the best Louisville quarterback since Unitas could help us get some answers.
7. "That thing where you always throw the ball to the fullback on the first play of a drive -- do I have to do that too?"
We didn't see quite as much of it last year after Kyle Juszczyk departed for the San Francisco 49ers. But with Patrick Ricard developing throughout the 2017 season, you have to assume offensive coordinator Marty Mornhinweg is going to have much more of the call up his sleeve this year. If I'm Jackson, I'd like to nip that in the bud as quickly as possible.
6. "Speaking of Mornhinweg, all of your coordinators either become head coaches or everyone hates them until they get fired. I don't really have a question here, it just seems really weird."
And it is. I'm not exactly sure how Flacco would respond to that one other than to shrug his shoulders. But it seems like the topic has to come up in conversation at some point, right?
5. "Robert keeps asking me if I want to watch college football with him this fall. How do I politely tell him I don't think he's going to be here that long?"
There's been such a strange amount of conversation about Robert Griffin III helping with Jackson's development, but how does it possibly make sense for the Ravens to keep three quarterbacks this year if the top two are healthy? The only reasonable argument is that if the Ravens have a specialized package of plays for Jackson -- perhaps even lining up at other positions -- he's more susceptible to injury. If that's the case, they might want to have a Third quarterback. (Get it? Hilarious, right?)
4. "You seemed to be really good at that 'chuck it downfield and get a pass interference call' play. Why did the team stop running that exactly?"
Again, this is sort of a selfish one. Flacco probably doesn't have the answer to this either, but it seems like it should be discussed. Jackson's arm isn't quite as big as Flacco's, but maybe he'd like to see some of those plays return?
3. "Look, I know I'm here to take your job and all, but can I get an invite to watch 'The Bachelorette' or nah?"
The next season airs this summer (starring Becca Kufrin, if that means something to you), so presumably the boys will be
getting together again to watch
. Is it more uncomfortable if Jackson is there or if the boys purposely don't invite him?
2. "If I do take your job, I don't want things to be awkward. Can I introduce you to Lil' Uzi Vert for your next rap album?"
Sure, the former Super Bowl MVP isn't likely to be found clubbing with rappers like the rookie was
in Los Angeles. But perhaps even this could help the duo find some common ground, as Flacco seems like the type who would be totally comfortable going out in a pair of Adidas slides, too.
1. "OK, but really, do they ever draft any receivers around here?"
"No offense, Jordan Lasley and Jaleel Scott. I mean, do they ever draft any in the early rounds? It would seem like some of those guys would kinda help."